MIA

Seems once again I have neglected my little piece of the internet and failed to deliver anymore musings regarding my daily life. I have, however, been busy with life, summer, work, play and all those things in between. I've come to an understanding about myself lately and have focused a great deal on remoulding my personality based on all my past experiences. Negative or otherwise... I play my guitar more, spend more time with my friends, and my dog of course, get out and make myself more active, and generally have learned to love my life through the rough terrain along with the smooth. I don't spend much time at this keyboard at all anymore, and though I have no attitude towards the internet or those who spend countless hours amidst the faceless crowds within, I find myself much more productive and healthy without the draw of what I sometimes feel is wasted life glued to this monitor. Don't get me wrong, I actually miss this place sometimes, the chance to share my innermost feelings and attitudes, or merely just useless information spilling over from my feeble brain, but I don't have the same desire to type, as I do to write. Fascinating really, how I am so compelled by the allure of a fresh sheet of paper and a good strong pen, that I can come out with the most depressing poetry on a day when I'm actually overwhelmingly chipper... Strange, actually. But I have been writing more lately, and when I look back to read what I have placed on the page, I find myself disturbed with my words. Well, maybe not disturbed, but perplexed, as I know my feelings are not dark, though the words drip with misery. Is my conscience battling my persona? Or is it that I can only write blissfully while in anguish and despairingly when I am content? Well, time will tell, and I won't stop writing only because of my apprehension to my own self-conscious thoughts. Who knows, maybe they may help me discover my passion, find the one true thing that motivates my heart... Until then, I shall carry on with my summer and perhaps try to coerce myself into jotting a few words here more often.