Preoccupied Insignificance
Wow.
So it appears I have been neglecting a certain part of my life I was never truly sure I understood the beginnings of anyway. But then that seems to be apparent in many other aspects of my life than just that of a mere rambling on a minuscule portion of the world wide web...
I began to analyze the real reason I began this in the first place. I think, sadly enough, that I was simply enticed by the cult following of some pagan-like ritual we have come to know as the "blog". And again, like so many other facets of my life... I lost interest.
The concept of losing interest however intrigues me. What is it about my psyche that causes me to become so detached from nearly everything involved with my existence? Am I this bored with life and all that it encompasses? I have never considered myself markedly apathetic, but lately it seems, I just don't really care anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do care about the things that are important to me... My friends, my family, myself. But I'm finding I'm less and less concerned with what is going on around me. And the boredom and tedium I feel in everyday life only adds to my disdain for anything not remotely affecting me. I used to care about other countries less fortunate than ours, about homeless people and what caused their destitution, about endangered species and deforestation of the rainforests. And yet, lately... well, it's apparent that I have no desire to change the negatives in my own life, how could I possibly influence world peace?
Now I look back at the last paragraph... My friends, my family, myself. My, my, my... Self-centered, absorbed, and pompous? I really don't think that's an accurate description of me at all, and I believe most people who know me would agree with that. But it makes me feel that way when I focus on such disregard I feel presently. The cynicism and contempt I feel for most of the human population tends to be a rather certain indication I am not the happy-go-lucky, compassionate person I used to be. And perhaps that may account for my disinterest in anything remotely resembling a life.
Ok. So maybe I need some focus. Some direction. A purpose.
Or maybe I just need to get drunk.
So it appears I have been neglecting a certain part of my life I was never truly sure I understood the beginnings of anyway. But then that seems to be apparent in many other aspects of my life than just that of a mere rambling on a minuscule portion of the world wide web...
I began to analyze the real reason I began this in the first place. I think, sadly enough, that I was simply enticed by the cult following of some pagan-like ritual we have come to know as the "blog". And again, like so many other facets of my life... I lost interest.
The concept of losing interest however intrigues me. What is it about my psyche that causes me to become so detached from nearly everything involved with my existence? Am I this bored with life and all that it encompasses? I have never considered myself markedly apathetic, but lately it seems, I just don't really care anymore. Don't get me wrong, I do care about the things that are important to me... My friends, my family, myself. But I'm finding I'm less and less concerned with what is going on around me. And the boredom and tedium I feel in everyday life only adds to my disdain for anything not remotely affecting me. I used to care about other countries less fortunate than ours, about homeless people and what caused their destitution, about endangered species and deforestation of the rainforests. And yet, lately... well, it's apparent that I have no desire to change the negatives in my own life, how could I possibly influence world peace?
Now I look back at the last paragraph... My friends, my family, myself. My, my, my... Self-centered, absorbed, and pompous? I really don't think that's an accurate description of me at all, and I believe most people who know me would agree with that. But it makes me feel that way when I focus on such disregard I feel presently. The cynicism and contempt I feel for most of the human population tends to be a rather certain indication I am not the happy-go-lucky, compassionate person I used to be. And perhaps that may account for my disinterest in anything remotely resembling a life.
Ok. So maybe I need some focus. Some direction. A purpose.
Or maybe I just need to get drunk.
posted by Earth Bound Misfit at 4:32 PM
1 comments
